Living Will
In light of the furor over Terri Shivo I thought I had better get myself a living will. Especially given my lifestyle....lol.
Now before the howls of protest begin, I feel for that lady. Life gave her the shitty end of the stick and I would not have wanted to be in her husbands or her family's position. I can see some right on both sides. But this post is about me and not them. So stick your flames up your ass if you don't like what's next.
My Living Will
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerhead judges or politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for something along the lines of BBQ, bacon, steak, bisquits and gravy, coffee or a blowjob, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse (or current girlfriends, concubines, live-in-lovers), children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these morons mind their own damn business, and continue screwing the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma and yet remain unaware of the fucking they are getting.
Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the Presidency, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. In other words if you ain't family just fuck off!
I don't give a rat's ass how many imbecilic religious zealots send emails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people (nor do I want to), and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too.
As for the media, you assholes stay out of my death as well. I don't respect you, trust you to get the story straight or need your interference. And leave my family alone, they have enough to deal with without you dipshits asking stupid questions.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.
Now before the howls of protest begin, I feel for that lady. Life gave her the shitty end of the stick and I would not have wanted to be in her husbands or her family's position. I can see some right on both sides. But this post is about me and not them. So stick your flames up your ass if you don't like what's next.
My Living Will
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerhead judges or politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for something along the lines of BBQ, bacon, steak, bisquits and gravy, coffee or a blowjob, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse (or current girlfriends, concubines, live-in-lovers), children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these morons mind their own damn business, and continue screwing the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma and yet remain unaware of the fucking they are getting.
Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the Presidency, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. In other words if you ain't family just fuck off!
I don't give a rat's ass how many imbecilic religious zealots send emails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people (nor do I want to), and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own damn business, too.
As for the media, you assholes stay out of my death as well. I don't respect you, trust you to get the story straight or need your interference. And leave my family alone, they have enough to deal with without you dipshits asking stupid questions.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.
"Sometimes the best way to change a person's mind is with a rock"
posted by FermatsEnigma at 2:08 PM
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